No, seriously...let me explain.
So I'm in Key Biscayne, Florida for a business meeting - at the Ritz-Carlton. Yes, I know...I SWEAR...real business-y things happen in Key Biscayne...at the Ritz-Carlton. Things besides Eliot Spitzer-type things. (Get it out of the gutter, people.)
(My Ritz)
(My dinner)
(My view from my margarita/dinner table)
(My view from my crappy non-ocean front balcony)
Yes, yes...beautiful, blah blah blah. What really matters to me in a hotel is how comfy the bed and how many channels are on the tv. So last night after a long day of travel delays, I turn the thermostat down to sub-zero, burrow down under the super fat Ritz comforter, turn on the tv and get this....
...which normally would not be cause for alarm, but THIS IS THE ONLY SCREEN I CAN GET! No HBO, no reruns of Law & Order, no weather channel. WTF? The "*" does NOT WORK!
Ok, fine, back up plan. Let's see what funny porn titles they have? You know, cuz I'm sure the Boy would like to know what the Ritz is playing for future reference. And I am the best girlfriend EVER.
No porn?
There is no porn at the Ritz.
Seriously?
Eliot Spitzer would not approve.
I'll stop here and not go into great detail about how I then set up camp on the balcony with my computer and a comforter, and then, upon deciding that wine was needed, walked face first into the glass door cuz the f*&kin' Ritz-Carlton maids keep the glass so f&#kin' clean.
It turns out that face plants on glass turn out especially well with flash photography...
(My face)
I'm leaving an extra big tip.
Hahaha... now that's a funny business trip story.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm not the only one who's face planted into a screen door! Hooray!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by my blog & commenting---here to return the favor.
;-)
Found you by way of Fragrant Liar. Read you. Love you. Following. xo
ReplyDeleteLiquid dinners are the best.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of hotel calls itself a hotel and then doesn't offer porn? Something is wrong with the world.
Have you ever thought about writing professionally? I mean, I know it's the easiest profession to break into (doors practically swing open...or not). Your stories are hilarious--you have a way of telling them :)
Lou - What...and give up my dreams of middle-management?! Not in a million.
ReplyDeleteI love love love you for saying that! :)