Sunday, March 28, 2010

Random stuff I've learned over the past 2 years at 67+ baseball games

I hate hotdogs.  I can’t repeat this enough.

Don’t wear white pants on a hot day.  Your ass WILL sweat in the stadium seat and then, when you get up to go to the restroom, it just looks like you couldn't wait and pee’d yourself.  The Boy calls this ass sweat phenomenon “swamp ass”.  To wit, “Baby, wear dark shorts today cuz it’s gonna be swamp ass-y.”

Yankee Stadium will let you bring in a really really REALLY big purse, but will make you leave a backpack outside.

Always keep a baseball hat in your purse.  Frizzy hair looks good on no one.

Denver gives me headaches.

I should never drink in Denver.

Minute Maid Park in Houston has a great bar in right field.  I sometimes go there and watch the game on the TV above the bar.  I can turn around and watch it live, but there is some satisfaction in not doing that.

Taxi drivers in New York City do not know the difference between Yankee Stadium and Citi Field.  No matter what, they will take you to Yankee Stadium.

Actual conversation with NYC cabbie...

Me:  Citi Field please.
Cabbie:  Huh?
Me:  You know, Citi Field?  Mets?  Shea Stadium? Baseball?  Citi Field.
Cabbie:  Ohhhh…baseball.
Me:  Yes, Citi Field.  Mets.

(Minutes later we pull up to Yankee Stadium)

Cabbie:  Baseball here!
Me:  OTHER BASEBALL.  You know, the one that is at least another $35 from this one?
Cabbie:  Yes…Mets.  I take you Mets.

If it starts to rain, throw your body over the fabulous purse first.  Keeping the rest of you dry is optional.

Have I mentioned I hate hotdogs?

At Yankee Stadium, you can drink beer in your seat, but mixed drinks and wine have to stay behind a steel barrier in the bar area.  

If you’re sweet to the official-looking “bar guard guy," he will let you sneak your drink out of the bar prison.  Just don’t then get caught on national TV with a big ol’ cup of wine in your hand (true story…oops).

More to come....maybe.


  1. I came to specifically see the pics.
    I really don't care much about your dietary preferences (ie, hot dogs).
    Thanks for the tips.

  2. I actually quite enjoy your drawings!

    Also, I will be attending at least one game in the new Twins stadium this year. Preferably after it warms up, you know, cuz they didn't put a retractable roof on the damn thing.

  3. Omg, I'm not sure which I loved more the actual blog posting or the paintbrush pictures!

    Thanks for putting a name on the swamp ass phenomenon!

  4. I absolutely love your drawings. I really think they helped reinforce your words in an awesome way!