Friday, March 12, 2010

Mommy...I wanna go to Cooters!

Now this sentence has never actually been uttered by the Princess, but I’m pretty sure that’s only because we do not live in the greater Tampa/St. Pete area.

It all started a couple of evenings ago when the Boy and I were taking a leisurely stroll down the main street of one of the many beach communities in the area.  We stopped in a local wine bar, and as we were waiting for our drinks, I picked up one of those “Come see all of the really cool shit that we have within a 100 mile radius of where you are sitting this second” magazines. 

(Flip Flip) “Does every place have a cartoon shrimp in their ad?” (Flip) “Hey, if I get a tattoo at the place next door, they’ll validate our parking.” (Flip Flip)  “Haha, this shrimp has a muscle tee and sunglasses.” (Flip Flip Flip) “What the…!”

I did a double-take.  I sat quietly and thought about this for a moment.

Me: “Baby, what exactly IS a cooter?”
Boy: …
Me: “I mean besides the guy on the Dukes of Hazzard.”
Boy: “Sweetie, it means exactly what you think it means.”

Except this is the problem.  There can’t POSSIBLY be a vagina restaurant, can there?  And a “Family Friendly!" one? 

So I decided that there must be something, some definition somewhere, that would make it ok for there to be family-friendly Cooters. – don’t let me down…

Hee hee...“beef curtains” makes me giggle.  Sorry...ahem.   Funny, but definintely NOT helpful here.  I do, however, appreciate the very handy list of synonyms at the top of the page in case I use the word ‘cooter’ one too many times and need several dozen other options to chose from. was a little more helpful.
“Cooter - –noun Chiefly Southern U.S. any of several large aquatic turtles of the southern U.S. and northern Mexico.”

Whew, it’s a turtle!  But then I scan over to the side of the page at said and see the ‘related searches’:

So is it a vagina or is it a turtle?  Both, I guess.  This place must haul-out the turtle to the kids and the vagina to the grown-ups (on the website it advertises "Cooter’s fresh raw bar"…wink wink...and don't forget "Super Grouper Thursdays").  If I give them the super-secret password, will they give me a Cooter's t-shirt with the vagina on it, instead of the turtle?  

Or maybe it's just because I can make anything seem dirty if I try hard enough.


  1. LMAO, you are a funny girl. Can't wait to read more. Happy Friday Follows. Hope you are having a great one!


  2. Happy FF!! I'm a new follower:) come see me at my blog.
    Have a great day!

  3. Hahaha Love your blog! Thanks for stopping by yesterday! I your newest follower! So you know cedar point huh?

  4. Ah, cooters...

    Where would be be without Through that vast portal of knowledge did I learn that "pooty tang" is something slighty more specific than a pooty. It's up in the air whether or not my life is any better for knowing the distinction...

  5. "Or maybe it's just because I can make anything seem dirty if I try hard enough."

    Nope. That's exactly where my mind went too. And I knew nothing about the turtle, so before reading on, I spent about 3 minutes staring at that ad wondering why they would ever use a turtle as their mascot. And then I started thinking about Hooters the restaurant and we all know why THOSE waitresses work there so maybe at Cooters...

    See...I'm just as bad if not worse than you are.

    PS. Those Urban Dictionary posts are great, but I had to totally laugh out loud because my name is Lauren.

  6. I like 'gates of heaven' myself.

    The Boy is seeking out t-shirts as we speak. (I think he really wants to see if Cooters=Hooters or if Cooters=something else entirely.) I may need to give one away for shits and giggles.

  7. Hi there! Hopping in from Friday Follow (on Saturday-lol) I'm your newest follower. I'd love for you to come follow me!

    Bridgette Groschen
    The Groschen Goblins

  8. Hello!

    We came across your site through the FF and decided to follow your blog. We are looking forward to reading more of your posts. Come on over and visit us when you get a free moment. Have a fabulous day! <3