Thursday, March 25, 2010

Dateline needs hookers!

I was lucky enough to have my camera with me when I saw this sign on a major street in a town south of San Francisco.

My first thought was...GET OUT!!!  My second thought was…DATELINE!  Where are they?  Are they hiding?  Are they watching to see what I'll do when I see the sign???

So following is my theory on the sign…


Dateline Producer: OK, this “To Catch a Predator” thing is PLAYED.  The predators are on to us and the last poll showed that Americans think that Chris Hansen is waaay annoying and slightly creepy.  We need us a new idea. 

Keith Morrison: How about a story about a dead blonde white girl?

Dateline Producer:  We’ve already done all the dead blonde white girl stories.  We’d have to wait for another blonde white girl to die and we need something now.

Keith Morrison:  Um, how about something to do with sex?

Dateline Producer:  Fantastic!  Sex!  I love it!  Ok…what’s the angle?

Keith Morrison:  Prostitution?

Dateline Producer: Genius!  Let’s do something fresh, new, exciting, ground-breaking. 

Keith Morrison: We could call it “To Catch a John”.  We could bait potential johns with the promise of hookers and then when they show up, we POUNCE with the cameras and chase them and try to ask them really embarrassing questions.  I could run after them with a microphone yelling “I’m Keith Morrison with Dateline NBC!  Come talk to meeeeee!”

Dateline Producer:  But how are we gonna find us some johns to pounce on?

Keith Morrison: We could put up a REALLY BIG SIGN letting the johns know where the hookers are going to be.  And they’ll just…well…show up.

In reality, this sign is probably the handiwork of somebody with too much time and too much tape, and a fabulously warped sense of humor.

The sign usually says, “WORKERS located at 5th Avenue at Railroad”.

I’m afraid that if Dateline and their potential johns actually did show up at 5th Avenue at Railroad, all they found were some confused elderly Hispanic gentlemen who were just hoping that somebody might want help building a deck.


I am an idiot.  I was all inspired by the fabulous bloggers that I met tonight in San Francisco and totally came home and was all like "I need to change things up" and then I started fucking with the comments settings and lost a bunch of comments.  I'll get it figured out, but until then PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED AWAY BECAUSE I'M A MORON.  I'm really not an idiot all the time.  Just some of the time and especially after tequila.


  1. You are so funny! I love your blog! I tagged you on my blog!

  2. Whoever did that to the sign is a genious! Love it. Tequila before blogging....I should try that, or not.

  3. I have to agree with Jessica,... YOU ARE FUNNY! And creative,... how did you come up with that? Tequila does not have THAT affect on me...


  4. Jessica - Thanks doll! That is a big ugly bag of god-knows-what you are asking me to disclose. Sounds like fun!

    Cathy - Tequila before or during blogging is the best. Tequila before or while changing your blog settings - not so much.

    Fab Bitch - Thanks Bitch! In fact I love saying that and it makes me giggle so I'm going to say it a few more times. Thanks Bitch! Thanks Bitch! :)

  5. I like the sign. Even more, I like that you stopped to take a picture and then blog about it. I've got a good one I should post too. Stay tuned.

  6. You rock, Miss Jane...

  7. Awkward - Random stuff is just the best. I hardly ever leave home without a camera now.

    Anonymous - Miss you, Ms. K!