Monday made me sad, but was pretty damn entertaining. Is that possible?
Let me see if I can explain.
As a rule, I try to stay away from ANYTHING CLOSE TO POLITICAL on Facebook. I think the most ‘out there’ thing that I’ve ever done is to stupidly post a clip from The Daily Show – which elicited comments from both sides of the ideological spectrum, condemning each other for the other's egregious misunderstanding of healthcare reform. By the end of the day, I felt battered and bruised…and pissed off….and I wasn’t even involved in the discussion! I really just thought Jon Stewart was funny.
It is this type of thing that has nudged me into a self-imposed Facebook ban.
I have been skipping along under the false impression that Facebook was supposed to be, I don’t know, fun?
Monday, I couldn’t resist. I knew the healthcare bill was going to cause apoplectic fits. I quietly logged in and assessed the war zone.
Following is a small sampling off of my friend’s FB page…
(Actual quotes edited for length and coherence…I seriously couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.)
Mary’s (FB Page Owner) Post: And the health care reform bill passes!!! (Sunday, 7:52 pm)
Bill: “That is very bad....might as well plan your funeral...there will be a waiting list for treatment...most will die before treated...this is so bad :(“
Translation: YOU ARE GOING TO DIE (with a super sad frowny face).
Sally: “I just pray that you or family has nothing seriously wrong. Good luck getting the treatment that you properly need and quickly get it administered. Remember how happy you are today...because you and your daughter and daughter's children will be paying for this for years to come.”
Translation: YOU ARE GOING TO DIE, but I would like to express insincere concern for you and your family.
(Omitted - several Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire posts)
Bill: “What's next? Maybe take our guns away…that way the government can totally run us and we won't be able to make a stand. I guarantee that's coming...its a constitutional right, but the current administration doesn't care. Its their way and no other way...I'll be waiting to say ‘I told ya so’"
Translation: YOU ARE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF HEALTHCARE REFORM AND IF YOU DON’T DIE FROM HEALTHCARE REFORM YOU WILL DIE BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND TAKE YOUR GUN AWAY AND THEN SHOOT YOU.
Mary’s next post: Well Rush...can I send you any boxes?? (Monday, 3:10 am)
(Oh, no…sweetie…didn’t you learn from the last round?)
(This conversation starts with several anti-Rush sentiments, dissolves into the next logical chain of thought - WMDs and WHO STARTED ALL THE WAR-TYPE STUFF and ends with….)
Elly: “All lies! All lies! All lies!”
(Ok…catchy. We’ll run with it.)
Mary’s third post: I am once again AMAZED at the venomous hateful comments directed towards our PRESIDENT! Not being in agreement with his choices is one thing and I can respect that, but there are so many disrespectful things being said that it's just ridiculous! The folks that refuse to call him by his TITLE (President) ...wow. (Monday, 5:06 am)
(Please stop. Darlin’, I love ya, but omg.)
Terry: “He is black, educated and the President.”
Sally: “I can say the same thing for you and all of your friends about Bush. And quit being so racist Terry. If anything, you voted for him because he is black...not because of issues!”
(Oh, no she di’int)
Elly: “All lies! All lies! All lies!”
(Not sure what Elly stands for, but I’m starting to like her.)
Mary: “I said his being Black had NOTHING to do with why I voted for him. Yes, that was a plus, however my decision was based on my thoughts and feelings. I was not raised to have color issues, thank God. You're taking this to a whole other level with me. It does NOT have to be this way! I feel let down. TRY to have a nice day.”
Sally: “I don't like the man, his beliefs or what he stands for...PERIOD! Nothing to do with his color!”
Elly: “And I didn't like Bush because of his beliefs or what he stood for. Nothing to do with his color!”
Mary: “I believe in etiquette...it's MY FB page, I can say what I want. I don't even have a problem with folks who disagree with my opinion. However, I DON'T agree with going to another person's page and causing drama because you don't agree with what they said. Again, healthy civil debate is fine, but otherwise, spew it elsewhere...But that's just my opinion.”
When did it become ok to conduct comment drive-bys on other people’s FB pages?
I don’t give a rat’s ass what side of the issue you come down on. I’m still gonna like you. But PLEASE don’t feel you need to comment on my ideological stupidity EVERY time I post something. If you want to post on your page in big sparkle letters that you hate the President, that’s between you and the Secret Service. I don’t give a shit.
But if I write in big sparkle letters on my page that I like macaroni and cheese, don’t post 101 reasons on MY page why I’m a dumbfuck for liking macaroni and cheese.
I emailed Mary yesterday to check on her mental state. Good news: she is doing just fine, thank you very much. Bad news: the 20-year friendship between Mary and Sally is OVER (or maybe this is good news, depending on how you feel about it).
And Elly has started taking her meds again.