I love visiting the Boy this time of year. He leaves for pratice at 6:00 in the morning, and I get to sleep until, say, 2:00 when he comes home. This is my dream scenario come to reality…sleep, shower, go out, sleep some more.
The Boy works for a baseball team. I can’t say which one. If I did and the other boys found out, they would hound him relentlessly and then I would be forced to step in to defend him “boy-style” with references to his manliness and big, um…shoes, but I just don’t have the energy for that so said team will go unnamed.
But I digress. I promised fascinating tales of sweatpants and Reggie Jackson. OK, maybe not fascinating tales.
Very important fashion-y update…I found the fabulous James Perse sweatpants (discussed last Tuesday) that will help me fulfill my “sweatpants as eveningware” fantasy! I was actually trying to find them for my friend K, who feels that she has cracked the sweatpants in the club code but Saks didn’t have them in her size. So in a show of sisterly solidarity, I bought a pair for myself.
Having found the perfect glam sweatpants, the Boy and I parked ourselves at the bar at PF Changs. The Boy leans over and quietly whispers that we are evidently sitting next to Reggie Jackson. Being the subtle person that I am, I crane my neck in Reggie’s direction and do a very non-stealthy “GET OUT!”. After a few awkward moments, the Boy turns and introduces himself to Reggie and so begins a riveting discussion about who has won every World Series since the beginning of time. Which to me sounds something like…
Boy: “Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah”
Reggie: “Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah”
So I eventually tune out and text K about my fabulous sweatpant find … “Found sweats at Saks. Didn’t have ur size. Nah Nah. Tell husband that the Boy is chatting up Reggie Jackson.”
K’s response “Is he related to Michael?”
I (heart) K.
So there’s still a lot of “blah blah’ing” going on next to me until I hear Reggie ask the Boy “Is this your wife?”
Eh? Radar up.
The Boy: “No, but I’m trying!” (shares friendly man-code chuckle with Reggie)
Reggie: “Y’all should get married. Nice you meet you.”
And he leaves.
I frankly don’t know what to do with this. Does Reggie do this to every couple he meets. Are there scores of unhappy married couples out there that took the leap because “Reggie told us to”? Does he also tell people to have children? Change careers (“I was once a very successful accountant but then Reggie told me I had great promise as a professional scrapbooker”)?
I need to go now so that I can search the Boy’s apartment before he gets home. There’s NO WAY that there’s not ring around here somewhere....after all, Reggie Jackson told him to.