"Why is this so much easier when I do it in my head?" or "100% leather / 0% baby"

Hi, I'm Jane.  So here's my first confession...I blog in my head all day, every day.  Since I haven't yet found a good anti-head-blogging drug yet, I've decided that the next logical step is to just write it all down.  For good, bad or ugly...although I'll try to keep out the ugly.  I hate ugly.  But sometimes ugly is funny, so then you have to write about it.  The obvious benefit to writing everything down is that I am no longer in danger of spewing blog entries at a unsuspecting people:

Unsuspecting person: Would like whipped cream on your Venti non-fat cafe mocha?
Jane: Whipped cream is for sex, not drinking.  And let me tell you why...


I love fashion-y stuff.  My latest acquisition - about which I am presently debating between (a) placing it in a giant security-wired glass case and hanging in my living room (like the Boy's signed sports jerseys - more on the Boy later) or (b) actually wearing it - is the soft as a baby's ass Vince black leather jacket.  I'm fairly certain that it is not made of baby's ass, but I'm not going to lie to you when I say that I seriously considered asking the small man in the ankle-length skinny jeans, sockless loafers and cape at Barneys whether or not it was, in fact, made of baby.

I wasn't feeling that I would get the appropriate level of shock value to my inquiry from a man in a cape so I took the high road.  It really didn't matter.  I was going to buy it regardless.  

I checked the tag...no worries...100% leather / 0% baby.  For you animal rights folks...well, we'll talk later.