Thursday, May 6, 2010

Why yes, my 10-year old WOULD like a beer can necklace...thank you!

So yesterday was Cinco de Mayo.  The Princess had been doing Mexican-type things at school all day to celebrate (like learning how to carry identification papers and stuff like that), so when I went to pick her up, I thought it might be nice to take her out for dinner at the local Mexican restaurant/chain.

It was only 5:30.  "It's early", I thought..."we'll get in and get out before the party crowd shows up."

And I could get myself the "margarita as big as your head" that this place was known for.  Bonus.

There were still parking spots and we were seated right away and it was mostly families.  The revelers weren't there yet.  I'm a genius.

We order and we're just sitting and chatting about school when all of a sudden the Princess spouts off with an "OMG"  (no, not "Oh My God"...literally "O-M-G"), at which point I start looking around for our waiter because I think maybe she's just commenting on the size of the margarita I've just ordered.

She takes off across the restaurant and disappears for a few moments.  When she comes back, she's grinning from ear-to-ear and wearing some shiny gold beads.

"Look what they're giving away, Mommy!"

"Oh, cool.  Let me see."

She hands me the beads and I realize that I have failed to notice the blinking LED Corona beer bottle dangling from said beads.

"Wow.  That's entirely inappropriate."

"What is Mommy?"

"The beer bottle hanging from your neck, sweetie."

"But I like it!"

Before I can utter another word, she has darted back across the restaurant and disappeared again.  Thankfully, my ginormous margarita shows up and I nervously begin shoving chips down my throat.

It's during this pause that I start to look around.  And I notice now that there are indeed many families there in this Mexican restaurant enjoying Cinco de Mayo.  And I notice that their children are ALL wearing gold beads with blinky Corona bottles around their necks.  Teenagers, toddlers, tweens, babies...all of them.


I'm not quite sure this is what the Corona company had in mind when they sent their giveaways to the Mexican restaurants to distribute on Cinco de Mayo.  Or maybe they did.  Start 'em early!

At this point, the Princess reappears with a gift for me and I become the proud owner of a Dos Equis laser key chain, which when pointed in just the right light at just the right angle, shows a "XX" logo...kinda like the Bat Signal.  For my own sanity, I'm assuming that the "XX" stands for Dos Equis and not X-rated.

She's so excited about how cool this keychain thing is that she goes back and grabs one for herself.  I guess because she has super-secret invisible keys that need chaining.

I'm not really taking breaths between margarita sips now.  Chips are forgotten.  Straw in mouth, I'm internally debating my obligation to be a good parent and take this beer-labeled crap away or just let it go.  Or keep if for myself.

I compromise and tell her she can keep the beads as long as she doesn't wear them.  I'm starting to dig the keychain.  The "XX" is a lot funnier after half a ginormous margarita.

The restaurant host stops by our table.  "How is everything?"

"It's good, fine...everything is peachy."

And then he grins stupidly and hands us an "XX" branded maraca and something called a castania drum - also Dos Equis branded.

The Princess is ecstatic and immediately starts up with her own double-fisted percussion section.

Every kid in the place looks at her enviously and the stampede to the host begins.

I am now the proud owner of one string of gold beads with a blinky Corona, two laser "XX" keychains, one "XX" maraca (which the dog HATES) and a Dos Equis drum thingy (also not popular with the dog).

Yes, I know...the irony of "This is not a Toy" sticker has not gone unnoticed

I should know better than to try to do something wholesome on Cinco de Mayo.  It's like trying to take your kid to Vegas without running into hookers (I have a story about that too...don't judge).


  1. About the time the restaurant started handing out the Dos Equis brand coke spoons I would have left and celebrated Cinco de Mayo with Chinese take-out.

  2. I love your reponse. I think I would have let it go and then "disappeared" the thing when we got home. Partially because nobody is wearing beer paraphenalia this year.

  3. My kids would KILL for one of those necklaces... quite literally.

  4. Wow you guys made off like bandits. I KNEW we should have gone to a Mexican place on Wednesday and not Outback Steak House.

  5. Cinco de Mayo is just another Hallmark plot that the cerveza and tequila companies have hijacked.

  6. I remember wearing a Schlitz Malt Liquor t-shirt to school when I was in third grade. It had a cool bull on it. Nobody cared back then.

  7. Robert - I cannot tell you that those and the "XX" coke mirrors were not available. The Princess probably just didn't see them.

    CBella - I think you need to resurrect the beer paraphernalia trend in Japan. Just for kicks and giggles. I could send you some HOT gold beads.

    JP - Figures that would be all the rage in Indiana.

    Salt - Sweetie, you can't go Aussie on Cinco de Mayo?!

    IT - Like Sweetest Day!

    Wow - And don't you wish you still had it to pass on to your kids? Or maybe you have...

  8. HAHA...perfect "toys" for logo and a big fat sticker. At least they didnt pass out Dos Equis scissors and have a race for the kids. LOL.

  9. I'm sitting here jealous. I think you should do a giveaway.

  10. all you need is a banner you can put up in your house and some frat boys!

  11. That sounds like the best Mexican restaurant ever. My kids would probably kill a small animal for all that shit!

    As a side note, Last St. Patrick's Day a drunken Mom came home with several sets of blinking green beads, and proudly bestowed them upon her children. When said Mom woke up in the morning, she realized the large shamrock hanging from the blinking beads declared "BUD LIGHT". How could she have missed that?

  12. Thank the alcohol gods for margaritas the size of your head!!! Nothing wrong with letting the Princess have the freebies...maybe just hide them when her little friends come over to play. Or, get used to parents calling you to find out what their child means by "I want an XX flasher like Princess has!"

  13. That is just hilarious! I am sure my daughter would have loved that necklace as well!

  14. I know a couple of kids who would love that necklace, beer bottle and all.
    But I am more interested in the 'big as your head margarita' cause I want one. I have a pretty big head..