Thursday, May 27, 2010

Perfect attendance needs to die a sad, lonely, horrible, painful death

Perfect attendance sucks ass.

The Princess has perfect attendance.  Every day that school has been in session this year, the Princess has been in the classroom at her desk.

There have been mornings that she's felt horrible.  Every time I have asked her "Baby, do you want to stay home?" and every time she has said "No, Mommy, it would ruin my perfect attendance."  And so off to school she would go.

She was so proud of this achievement.  As we got closer and closer to the end of the year, she got more excited.  School ends on June 11th.  The last day is almost here.  And she will have PERFECT ATTENDANCE.

Or at least she thought she had perfect attendance.  And I thought she had perfect attendance. 

Turns out that perfect attendance is a slippery bitch.

The Ex stopped into the Principal's office today to find out if taking the Princess out of school an hour early tomorrow would affect her perfect attendance.  And the Principal said "She doesn't have perfect attendance."


It turns out that because she was tardy a few times - on those mornings when she was dragging and not feeling well - she will be denied her perfect attendance.  She walked into the classroom 2 minutes after the bell rang and it was over.  She dragged her tired sick self to school and the FUCKING SCHOOL GOT PAID it's fucking 'per student per day' amount from the state the minute she showed up.  But because she was moving a little award, no certificate, no recognition.

We had to break the news to her today.  And she cried.  And my heart broke for her.

And now she's just sad.

And I'm just all kinds of hate right now.


It is an unattainable standard that cannot POSSIBLY be met by anybody that isn't completely anal and inhuman.

I did a little digging on the school district's website to find out where it actually SAYS what this "perfect attendance" thing means.  It's not there.  BUT I did find out that if the Ex or I were to die in a horrible fiery airplane crash, the Princess would be allowed one excused absence day to attend the funeral.

One day.  Seriously.  I can't make this shit up.

Fuck it.  Next year I'm taking her out of school for a week to go to Disneyland.  And they can stick their truancy letter where the sun don't shine.


  1. Look on the bright side: she would actually get TWO days off if both of you died.

  2. WTF. This makes me mad. If it's not listed on the website or in any kind of rules, I'd fight it. Just because I'm a combative bitch.

  3. Okay, hold on a minute. As an employee of the public school system, I have to defend my colleagues on this one (because I fight this same battle every year). The word is PERFECT. Perfect Attendance. Not "Perfect Except For the Couple Days She Was Late Attendance".

    I understand your frustration and the policy should definitely be made clear in the parent handbook, but we have to draw the line somewhere.

    Now go take your little girl to Disneyland and have a blast.

  4. Robert - But not if we died on the same day.

    Salt - I know, I'm sick about it.

    Chris - I totally agree that a line needs to be drawn. My push-back is that in her school (not every school - I'm sure) the teachers don't tell the kids what "perfect attendance" means, and the school district doesn't tell the parents what "perfect attendance" means. Her teacher actually mentioned her perfect record to her not long ago - I guess perfect record doesn't mean perfect attendance. Nothing good can come of not setting a clear expectation. Frankly, I think that if her school got paid by the state because she was in school every day, she should get a big fat thank you from the school for being in school every day when everybody else was missing class for vacations. But I do get your point.

  5. Wow that really freaking sucks. I'd hate to have to tell her about that since she worked so hard to achieve it. Hopefully you and the ex can come up with some other award for her.

  6. The thing that gets me about this big push for perfect attendance is that it makes kids go to school sick, and then the sick goes around the school. Have you ever watched "Leave it to Beaver" reruns? They kept the kid in bed for a cold............what are we doing to our kids?

  7. That is really too bad that she had such dedication and now feels like she came up short. I think for us, they just have to be there by 10am. I don't know. I let the office deal with that stuff. So maybe it's the teacher that dropped the ball as far as setting the expectations. Too bad. I think you should celebrate her perfect attendance with her by taking her out for something special that she would love. Also, could you mention it to the teacher so she can at least talk to her about how proud she is of her for coming every day even when she was sick? Sorry. Sucky. Disneyland is awesome, though! :)

    P.S. I don't know if I've mentioned how much I love your artwork. I love it.

  8. Perfect attendance can go fuck herself.

    I work FOR A HOSPITAL as A NURSE... and I was ill four times in a year.... on the fifth "occurance" I had a written disciplinary action taken against me. "Put in my file" so to speak. DUDE... I was ill... I was actually hospitalized... in the fucking hospital I mother fucking work at.

    And I got in trouble for my illness.

    UHM... newsflash... we seem to have build a goddamn BUSINESS around the fact that people will get sick. I got sick.


    It all starts in grade school with perfect attendance.

    Perfect attendance can suck a fat one.

  9. OMG. It is horrible that she worked so hard--even going to school feeling under the weather--to get recognition only to find that it just wasn't perfect enough. That really bites. I agree that perfect attendance needs to die. I can't even talk about how ridiculous my company is with their attendance policy or how many times I've been talked to for having issues with chronic illness--sinusitis and migraines. Perfect attendance just isn't realistic.

  10. OMFG! That just pisses me off! She did everything she was supposed to do and she STILL didn't get the award? That's completely absurd. I thought teachers were smarter than that.

  11. You have an award on my blog.

  12. WTF? That is batshit crazy! My 1st grader got a few tardies at the beginning of the school year, and when I first saw them on her report card I wanted to go postal! A 1st grader doesn't deserve a tardy...if she's tardy it's either my fault or the bus driver's fault, not hers!

    Luckily, there are no perfect attendance awards at my daughter's school. The previous principal was a nun, and she took away the perfect attendence award because she didn't want sick kids coming to school!

  13. Can you take me out of work to go to disneyland for a week? I need it.

  14. WTF! Thats just not right! There is a difference between being tardy and not being there at all! I would be pissed!

  15. I'm confused. She wants to be at school everyday?? Just wait until she's a teenager ditching out after lunch. Then she'll look back and laugh.

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  17. Sorry, typo..I'm frustrated along with you. That "perfect attendance" protocol sounds like perfect bullshit. Your poor girl attended school (one with the sense of a thumbtack would deduce this means she was in attendance), even when she was sick. Yet she's penalized. That's just wrong. You both deserve a trip to Disneyland.

  18. I totally agree with you and the exact same thing happened to my son!! I was so upset that I talked to the principal about it. And he said they had to draw the line somewhere! So, maybe I should not care if my son makes them money by showing up every day even if he is sick! I guess I have to draw the line somewhere too! I believe that the kids should be recognized, no matter how small the accomplishment!! But, I think they should atleast could have told the kids thank you, since they did make money off of their perfect attendance! Sorry from Canyon Country, Ca

  19. The same things is happening in our school in Missouri. We have gone to the school board however they don't care!! We started a facebook fan page, "Parents Against Perfect Attendance".

    Join us!!!

  20. Wow that really freaking sucks. I'd hate to have to tell her about that since she worked so hard to achieve it. Hopefully you and the ex can come up with some other award for her.