Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My phone has turned into Sybil and is not sure if my daughter or Henry Kissinger is calling

Technology and I haven’t exactly been buds lately.  First, my Netbook decided that location of the cursor on the page wasn’t all that important and jumped to wherever the hell it wanted to.  I would be happily typing along and then the cursor would just say “fuck you” and jump to somewhere in the previous paragraph and I wouldn’t look up to discover this until two sentences later.

And then I purchased MobileMe.

Let me restate – I purchased MobileMe to ensure that I never EVER lost all my contacts because a friend of mine lost all of her contacts and she had to go begging on Facebook for everybody to send her their contact information and I bet a lot of people didn’t respond and now she feels sad because they didn’t love her enough to resend their information.   In fact, I’m fairly certain that several people did this on purpose so that they didn’t have to deal with her anymore.

I can’t cope with that kind of rejection.

So I signed-up for MobileMe, which is a service offered by Apple to store all your very important information in the Apple "cloud" so that you never have to worry about losing ANYTHING!  Great idea, right?  

I thought I was so cool and tech-y and bragged to the Boy that he should definitely get MobileMe too because what if he lost his phone and then lost all of HIS contacts – which he hasn’t figured out how to sync to his address book – and then he would be getting texts for the next year from numbers that he can’t identify and would have to ask “Who is this again?” every time, which makes him very nervous.  So he said "Great idea!"  But in usual Boy fashion, he procrastinated.  And then I lost all MY contacts.

Actually, it seems MobileMe just threw all of my contact information randomly into the “cloud” for shits and giggles and when it landed it was like 52 card pickup and everything was a mess.

Here’s the first sign that things might have been amiss…

My phone did not know if I had a voicemail from my 10-year old daughter or from Henry Kissinger.

I don’t really know Henry Kissinger.  I labeled one of my former business colleagues "Henry Kissinger" in my phone because I could and it amused me.

So that was weird.

And then I got home and looked at my phone contacts…and that's when things went totally bat shit crazy.

Here’s how a contact might now show up in my phone address book…

Contact Name:  Mom & Dad
Address: (Address of Dentist)
Phone number: (Phone number of Ex-husband)
Email: (Email of boss)


Contact name: The Boy
Address: (Address of Cousin in Austin)
Phone number: (Phone number of Ex-mother in law)
Email: (Email of Princess’s elementary school teacher)

Note to the Boy – Sweetie, if you’re reading this, I think we need to lay off the sext messages for awhile until we get this straightened out.   (AND OMG…if you EVER even so much as SNICKER that this happened…)

So I was on chat support (when did we as a society stop speaking? Never mind…rhetorical question) until 2 AM because every time I tried to fix something, I evidently fucked up something else.

I now have about half of my original contacts restored.   I have NO idea if the phone numbers or addresses are even accurate.  I’m not going to beg for contact information on Facebook because then people will have the option of not responding to me and dumping me forever and I want to be the one who dumps people – definitely not the other way around.

I’m guessing that this year would be a good year to cease the tradition of sending vulgar Christmas cards.  With my luck, one will go to my grandma, who’s address was supposed to be the address of my best friend, and who also had the email of my mechanic.


  1. ME... isn't that what Microsoft called the operating systems that followed Windows 98?
    That should have been your first clue.

  2. We have caller ID at work. We get monthly calls from "Body of Christ." I never answer those calls.

    I'm in advertising. I finally asked someone about it and I guess there is a newspaper called that. It still freaks me out though.

  3. I boycott apple for a reason :D

  4. I learned a lesson this evening. *puts Mobile Me disk in the trash*

    I did lose all my contacts once when I updated my phone and had to do what your friend did. It was annoying (and yes it was a little sad because I realized who didn't care for me to have their number), but somehow I think I would have a bigger meltdown if I had to try to detangle all that information.

  5. IT and Amanda - I KNOW, but I have an irrational love of all things Apple. Still. I think there is subliminal messaging involved.

    Wow - That's only slightly less scary than getting a call from, say, "God".

    Salt - Smart girl!

  6. Am I missing something? Don't you have all of your contacts on your computer once you sync your phone?

  7. Notes - Hi!

    Candice - It does, but the beauty of MobileMe is that it syncs back and forth from your address book to the cloud to your phone. When something goes wrong, it can 'eat' your address book. Fun!

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  9. Ok your blog is giving me the finger and not posting my comment. Let's see if this one goes through.

  10. PorkStar - Yah, um, I wish you had been around on, say, MONDAY to give me that advice.

    Hi! Welcome! My blog gives me the finger a lot too.

  11. The cursor on my one laptop did the same thing. And that was my favorite computer! I sold that lame ass computer because that erratic cursor almost drove to alcoholism.

    You named one of your contacts Henry Kissinger? You are something else! Love it.

    Lost my share of contacts, and I had to do what your friend did,... still are wearing my scars of rejection proudly. They, the rejectors, can suck something. And kiss my fabulous behind. Yeah, I am still bitter. But after reading your post, I am not going to MobileMe. More rejection seems more enjoyabe. At least then I can fantasize about revenge.

  12. This is such a coincidence, because I just got a call from Henry Kissinger, but he knows perfectly well I'm not speaking to him since that camel incident, and besides I was waiting for a call from the Princess anyway.

    Not really. I don't even have a cell phone. That means I don't have a machine to forget my stuff and have to do it all myself.

    Thanks for dropping by!