So she bought a book. And she learned about this thing called "Blogger". Jane thought that Blogger was way cool but also way snarky because every once in awhile Blogger would fuck with her by changing all of her fonts and spacing and picture alignment and sizing. Jane would spend hours trying to change everything back only to be told by Blogger "Nope, not today bitch."
But Jane accepted that she was now in a relationship Blogger - for better or worse - and so she would overlook Blogger's quirkier and/or more masochistic qualities for the greater good.
So Jane read more of the book and the book told her that she must go and befriend Technorati. Technorati is a blog-claiming service that "claims" your blogs and then uses some super-secret technology to help other people find your blog in their directory. I guess.
The book evidently forgot to mention that when one submits a blog to Technorati for "claiming" that one should also provide a live goat for sacrifice as well.
And then Jane forgot all about it.
So it was somewhat a surprise to her when on Friday, she got an email from Technorati that stated...
"This is an automatically-generated email.
Thank you for submitting your blog claim on Technorati. Unfortunately, we encountered a problem reading your blog (bad writing? not funny? no goat?). Our engineers are investigating and we will update your claim status as soon as we are able (to sacrifice more goats?)."
"Well, ok," she thought. "There's a problem but they're looking into it. Sometimes I encounter problems reading my blog too because it's not funny. I understand COMPLETELY."
But then 2 minutes later she got the same email. And then 2 minutes after that she got the SAME email. This started on Friday. It is now Sunday. Every 2 minutes without fail the same email shows up.
Jane found this slightly amusing and then really annoying and has slowly graduated to full-on pissed off.
And this only reflects the emails that I didn't already delete in various fits of crazy
So of course you all are thinking "So did Jane contact Technorati to stop this madness?"
As a matter of fact, she did. But Technorati is so advanced and so all about itself, it has figured that it doesn't NEED customer service. It has outsourced all technology issues/questions to another service, that...ok get this...asks you to POST YOUR QUESTION AND/OR EMERGENCY on a public discussion board and then you have to wait for a techy-type person who may, or MAY NOT, work for the company that you are pissed at to post a response to your question.
I am certain that this is because there are no longer human beings at Technorati....only robots.
"But I don't HAVE a goat!"
Anyway, Jane did as she was told and posted her question with the appropriate number of exclamation points to vocalize her pissed-offness. Sometime around 4 AM on Friday night, a techy-type person who says she actually WORKS for Technorati, but who I think actually just lives in the robot dungeon with the goats, promised that she'd get on it ASAP.
That was Friday. It's Sunday and every 2 minutes I get another email.
It won't stop.
I need a goat.
I need a goat.