And another one bites the dust.
If you haven't been following me for long, you probably are not aware that I believe that hotel room porn is a fundamental right. Like free speech. And shooting dolphins with assault rifles.
And NOT because I spend a significant amount of time watching hotel room porn.
I just like to read the titles. Seriously.
Fine, don't believe me.
I first took up the cause back in March of last year when I accidentally (no, really) discovered that the Ritz-Carlton didn't offer pay-per-view porn options - and then face-planted into a glass door. NOT related incidents, I assure you.
So I contacted the Ritz Carlton to voice my opinion on the injustice of it all. I mean, the primary demographic for the Ritz Carlton is repressed rich people (and when I say "people", I really mean "men") who likely consider a night at the Ritz Carlton as an opportunity to escape their lives (and when I say "lives", I really mean "wives") and so they pack some lube and a toothbrush and settle in for an evening of pay-per-view fun and maybe a hooker or two. Imagine their disappointment when they can only find MSNBC and the Disney Channel.
What a missed marketing opportunity. Tragic.
The Ritz-Carlton people obviously didn't appreciate the genius of my logic. Their loss.
But now Marriott is following suit (like the Ritz-Carlton wannabes that they always were). But I LIKE Marriott. I have all of my "frequent flier" points with Marriott.
My business travel usually involves a Marriott.
Oh NO! All of those poor George Clooney/"Up In the Air"-esque business travelers! What will they do? There's a reason that half of these guys get into a business that requires ass-loads of travel...so they can get away from their families, order beer and steak topped with bacon and cream sauce, and watch porn in the privacy of their Marriott hotel room.
Now they'll have to...I can hardly say it...
...balance their computers on their laps and watch free porn on the computer!
Marriott says that the reason for the phase-out is due to a "transition to the next generation of in-room entertainment" that definitely does not include porn, and it is definitely not because they were getting lots and lots of pressure from "family values" groups (likely led by the high-strung, sexually repressed wives of the men who travel all of the time and stay at the Marriott to get away from them) and CERTAINLY NOT because Mitt Romney stepped down from the Marriott board after criticism that he didn't pressure Marriott enough on the whole porn thing and is about to announce his presidential aspirations - or at the very least to be Sarah Palin's butt boy...er, I mean, running mate.
Marriott also says that their revenues from adult pay-per-view content have been steadily decreasing... which is why they want to do away with the revenue COMPLETELY!
Makes total sense.
I guarantee that the people who are crying the loudest about the evils of porn are the ones who - when nobody is around - are holed up in their basements with a ball gag, a gallon of Crisco, a vibrator the size of a chainsaw and a subscription to www.1800JACKOFF.com.
I made that that last bit up. The domain name still seems to be available if anybody's interested.
FREE THE PORN!!!
At least there's still the Westin.