Monday, January 17, 2011

So who's on your team?

Every year for the last few years, my friend, B, has invited me to go to Tahoe over MLK weekend for skiing, sushi, drinking, and general debauchery.  And every year, I have bowed out because (1) I don't get on things that slide, (2) I don't eat sushi, and (3) it seemed kinda lame to go just for the drinking and debauchery.

But I rethought my position this year, had no other obligations and decided to go.  What the hell.

Magnificent place, Tahoe.  Stunning views.  Snow-covered mountains.  Beautiful sunsets.

And the best people watching EVER!

How did I not know about this?

Saturday night, we went to one of the South Lake Tahoe casinos and B and the rest of the crew introduced me to my new favorite game..."Your team!".

The concept is this...

Step one:  Drink.

Step two:  Observe.  Watch for passers-by who are strange and/or grotesque and/or crazy and/or freaky and/or just plain slutty and awesome.

Step three:  Call out "Your team!" and point to the friend nearest you or the friend who has irritated you last - by, say, winning $50 at video poker.

Step four:  The freak is now assigned to your friend's "team" for all eternity.  The concept is that when you die, you won't be able to spend eternity with your family and friends (unless, of course, one of your friends is a freak and has been assigned to your team).  You must spend eternity with the fabulous specimens that your friends have kicked to your team.

There are bonus points for mullets.

Now, at first glance, this may seem a bit cruel and juvenile.   And I assure you that I considered this for about 5 seconds before I was rolling on the floor laughing because it was SO MUCH DAMN FUN!

Conscience cleared.

Now you may be wondering how we had time to gamble when there were so many obvious potential team members in a Tahoe casino.

The good news is that you can collect team members for your friends WHILE you gamble.

The mother-load find of the night, however, went to our friend, R.  She spotted "Tiger Man" first...

When Tiger Man strolled by our little corner of the bar, we shamefully erupted into uncontrollable laughter and a chorus of kitty growling noises.

I wish you could see the detail in the picture - it was really dark.  What you might NOT be able to see is the following:
  • the tiger stripped labels on the jacket;
  • the matching tiger tuxedo stripe down the side of each pant leg;
  • the tiger stripped jacket pockets;
  • the red skull cap and tortoise shell glasses;
  • the Puma tennis shoes - in keeping with the kitty theme; and
  • the Johnny Depp (circa Alice in Wonderland) wanna-be friend sporting the top hat with two feathers (because one feather wouldn't have made any sense) with him at the bar.
Tiger Man is now on B's team - probably because she had just won at video poker.

My buddy, E - he's so funny - he said he was going to go over to Tiger Man and invite him over to meet the cougar.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh wait, I'm the...

Shit.  Nevermind.

After the rest of us left to head back to the hotel, B stayed behind to consume about 15 more drinks and claims to have spotted a mullet - which of course would mean that she had trumped us all for the night.  She got a picture of the gentleman at a Blackjack table - but only from the front.  Frankly I'm not buying it.  If you're going to call mullet and document the business in the also have to document the party in the back.

I'm calling foul.

There were many many MANY other worthy nominees for our respective teams.  Too many really to showcase here.  Suffice it to say, we will all be having a grand freaky spandex-wrapped time in the afterlife.

But in the spirit of true self-reflection, two of the biggest freaks this weekend were actually me and B.

This is B and I in a local hardware store with our faux-fur critter hats.  In other words - totally team worthy.   So now B is on my team and I'm on hers.  And this makes me kinda happy because now I know that I'll be spending the afterlife with B in her roadkill cap (gopher maybe?).

Go team!


  1. What a fun post. I'll bet you won't be missing any more Tahoe weekends!

  2. I fell fortunate that I don't have to travel all the way to Tahoe. There's a Walmart right around the corner.

  3. Tahoe is a cool place. When I was there, I enjoyed skiing back and forth between CA and Nevada with the giant lake at the bottom - nowhere else is like that.

    Your game is a version of the classic, "there is your girlfriend/boyfriend" game that is never ending between guys. It is played 24/7.

  4. Sounds like a fun trip, which I'm sorry I missed! I do love me some Tahoe and drinking games.

  5. You're too funny.

    Tiger Man may be the cousin of Tail Man, who I saw last weekend at the Harvard T Station in Boston (he had on a coonskin hat and a fox tail--pretty awesome).

  6. You need to put up more pictures of Tahoe. It sounds amazing.

  7. Yes please, pictures of Tahoe - never been, will definitely want to visit one day ! People watching is top entertainment :)