I've spent the weekend with a child who continues to cross the border between "sick" and "not sick", which, as those of you who are parents know, is something akin to parental purgatory. The Princess has a hacking cough that she inherited from me, which she cannot seem to shake, and a fever which fires up every 4 days or so. So sometimes she is fine and wants to do things and sometimes she is miserable and wants to make everyone around her miserable as well.
Truly my child.
So I've had a lot of down-time to ponder some of the world's great riddles.
Like...would more women enjoy sports if they weren't subject to male dominance of the remote-control?
This occurred to me as I flipped back and forth between the NBA playoffs and the Stanley Cup.
I never in a million years would have watched either of these events when I was married. My Ex would do the flipping back and forth between sporting events and I would ignore it all and read a book. Now that it's MY remote and MY TV, I can't get enough. I'm interested. I'm involved. I don't get it.
Sometimes I flip between Toddlers & Tiaras and Sportscenter. Explain that.
Or this...why is it that you only see The Club installed on the cars that nobody would want to steal anyway?
I happened across this hoopty gem in the parking lot of Whole Foods nestled between a BMW and an Audi. What you can't see in this picture is the fabulous fur trimmed pimp coat tossed across the front seat. And the pile of similar apparel piled high in the back seat. Which leads me to believe that the use of the Club in this case is not dissimilar to a home alarm system.
And, speaking of Whole Foods...why does it cost the same to eat unhealthy for 2 weeks as it does to eat healthy for 4 days?
I've almost completely cut meat and processed crap out of my diet and have decided that I officially need a raise. Fresh food is fuckin' expensive. No wonder we're all ginormous...Cheez Its are WAY cheaper than veggies. Which leads me to...
How is it that we haven't found a way to completely eliminate food from day-to-day life anyway? Food is a nuisance. I want to just take a pill in the morning and be done with it for the day. And not just like a 'fun' pill that makes you forget everything...I could do that now. I want all my nutrition pre-calorie counted for me and in pill form, please. And we could solve world hunger in the process. If we, as a society, can figure out how to recreate the Big Bang AND Heidi Pratt's face, why can't we do this?
I have other questions, but it's Sunday night and I want to watch the Milwaukee v. St. Louis game, which has gone into extra innings.
All answers welcome.